I MADE IT! I crossed the Atlantic Ocean!
Happy in Guadeloupe!
So it’s end of November 2023 and I still can’t believe that I finally crossed the Atlantic Ocean, all by myself on my beautiful little Mini 6.50.
It took me 17 days to go from La Palma, Canary Islands, to Guadeloupe in the Caribbean. 17 days of solitude, totally different to what I imagined all these years I prepared for this race. I am proud, for sure. I did it, after 3 years of full crazy dedication to this project. I am proud but also disappointed and sad that it ended how it ended. Disappointed about the race, not about the crossing itself. Honestly, i didn’t care so much about the sailing and crossing the ocean, for me it was mostly about the race. And that was a mistake. And a part of preparation that I missed out on, which I realise now after reflecting on it.
I compared myself to sailors who are literally born at sea, who sail since they were kids and who live by the sea their whole life. I felt a big pressure of being as good as they are and I wanted to do my best. In the end, one mistake somewhere on the Atlantic Ocean after 4 days of racing, made me lose contact to the surrounding boats and that incidence hit me. It hit me hard. I lost my focus, I doubted my plan and was not able to take a proper decision anymore. I got depressed for almost a week and I never felt that lonely at sea before. Actually, it was the first time ever for me to feel lonely on my Mini. All I wished for was for the race to end. My thoughts were spinning around and I got so sad that all the preparation and all that time I invested ended in the big race being like this. I so wished to turn back the clock and start again. I went through all the feelings and emotions, and I can tell you that time passes reeeally slowly when you are in a bad mood, totally by yourself, for days at sea.
Start of my Atlantic Depression.
In the end I managed to get out of my depression, I started to listen to music again, have some food, wash my hair and take care of myself more just to feel better. So I am glad that I could enjoy the rest of the race more and even could make good some places which really made my days ;)
Still, I couldn’t wait to arrive! It was the first time for me to be so impatient about arriving, actually. I just wanted to see my boyfriend and my family, also I felt bad they had to wait so long - I was counting the days since I knew when they arrived in Guadeloupe and I just wanted to be there faster.
In the Mini 6.50 races we are not allowed to have contact to the outside, no phones, computers, sat phones orsoever are allowed on board. So onshore the people have no idea what’s going on onboard those little racing machines, and we onboard have no idea of what’s going on in the world while we are racing. So you can imagine what a feeling it is to get back to society after 17 days by yourself with no contact to anyone!
Crossing the finish line after 17 days.
Arriving was amazing! It was a sunny morning, a light breeze let me cross the finish line under big spinnaker, accompanied by some ribs who were encouraging me on the last mile. And oh my.. how nervous and excited I was! When I arrived at the pontoon, hugging my loved ones and friends, I had a hard time to cover my shakiness, so nervous I was about arriving.
Happy to finish and arrive but still I was coping with my disappointment about my racing result. It felt very good to speak to all the people and read all the messages I got. That really made me feel so much better. Oh and the beer.. the first cold beer was really a good one!
Looking back now, I am very proud of how I managed my race, how I managed to get to the starting line of this big race! And how I managed the mental challenge out there, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I guess it was the best lesson I could get. I am ready for more.
Rum and beer at the arrival in Guadeloupe.